Events. They Have Transpired.

It has been a long time since I have posted here.

Things have been transpiring at a rapid pace and I'm just catching up to myself again now.

Here's a quick run-down.

1. I started going to the LDS ARP meetings on top of my Therapy and Dietician appointments each week. It is a kind of 12 step program re-fitted a little from the AA program to include scriptures from the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants. It is... kind of my new favorite day of the week.

2. I got super sick. Throwing up all the time and without any apparent food connections.
Honestly, I lost some of the hope in food that I had been finding. It was a dark week. My poor Therapist was pretty worried.

3. I found out that I'm pregnant. At first... this was terrifying news. I was sure that my body is currently a baby killer. That fear is lingering, but I am also very happy. I love the two kids I have and having another is daunting but the best kind of good news.

Edit 9/14: This news didn't stay good. I miscarried. unknown, but seems likely that it was because of the ED.

4. I had another blood test done. Now I have to add foods to that list of things that I can't have. As always, not all the foods I react to are allergies, so I'm back into the doubting myself and wondering if all my reactions were false positives.


So... Things have Transpired, emotions have been everywhere. I'm sorry that I just haven't been ready to talk about how I was feeling.

But now, I'm feeling differently.

I am ME. That includes being a person with food reactions. That includes the Bulimia. That includes the pregnancy. And it includes being a person who can look at myself, see all these things, and find worth there anyway. This has been a long time coming, but since I'm learning it the punches aren't keeping me down for as long and finding hope... It is seeming more and more possible at the time.